Turning back on the memory lane these days, remembering when the venue B., my work partner, and I were responsible for was opening to welcome Olympic and Paralympic athletes to train before the big broadcast trial a few weeks later: it was stressful, exhilarating, chaotic, energising, crazy and inspiring. During the planning phase, I immersed myself in new social codes (not only British, or Londoner) and got to hear “to be fair” hundreds of times. It became a joke with B.: what was fair in all the confusion our partners and stakeholders were feeling? Really. What was fair in repeating ourselves to the same people explaining the same procedures, over and over again?
Thanks to B., and to be fair with him (I had to…), my sanity level around the venue fluctuated much less than if he had not been my work partner (thank you for that, B!). The (subjective) idea of fairness has tickled my mind lately, whether from losing or winning some battles. As much as I strongly believe in challenging what is (when perceived as a status-quo), recent events in my close circle reminded me of how useless one can be, or feel, when reality (the “what is / cannot be changed” part) hits. I am aware Life is not known for being fair, and I will not do my Calimero: learning about three deaths in one week is just a bit hard on the heart.
Sure, these were not a ah-ah moment: it is just Life, along with its cycle, and I am just human. Dealing with that kind of situations throws me to the same antipodal and contradictory emotions. To be fair, it is not, and that is just the way it happens: dealing with it will not change the fact that it already belongs to the past. Will I ever get prepared enough? Unlikely. I am not super keen on getting more training on that kind of preparedness either, yet it just happens to be. It is not the biggest discovery either (as it may look that I am stating the obvious), and it is the response that matters.
Being able to function matter-of-factly can certainly help, and it does not necessarily infer lack of sensitivity. The only training I get is my practice: whether it is a collection of bruises to my ribs, my jaw (literally, indeed) or my ego, I only keep getting hit for (mostly) the better. The better of me handling events I cannot control, that is. Managing to be creative around unscheduled plight has proven to get back on track faster and faster over time. The scratches leave some scars: it is only fair. Now going back to sharpening these response skills.
Photo credit © OFL – “Walking Marilyn”