Hey 2018, welcome and thank you for calling me into a series of challenges already. I am back on the road again (anyong ha se yo!) and my grey hair has slowly been drawing attention for what some call “experience”, from a few younger souls, curious and eager to make a cut in this funny world of events. Most of the conversations start with work, working conditions, options to evolve, networking and day-to-day living conditions. One bottom line is rather constantly emerging: how do you manage your private / personal life?
THE question that tends to put many details into a different perspective also calls for some inner introspection: how can one define that work-life balance while trying to combine a passion (work) with a genuine human story (personal)? To each his/her own, of course. A 22 year-old newbie is discovering what distance can do to her relationship back home while working 12000 km away with new coworkers making her partner jealous. Tricky indeed: it is both their first time being apart in these conditions.
Buddhist monks, Sangwonsa Temple
Honesty, commitment, trust, confidence, patience, resilience, detachment and priorities are some of the basic elements to consider, share and agree upon with a significant other before, during and certainly after accepting another project away from home. This is not an easy task: being away is testing the very foundation of a relationship. Even with a partner working in the same industry, priorities, and sometimes expectations, change, questioning the essence of a partnership itself. Yes, being apart is tough, trying, challenging and demanding. For the “right” persons, it can also be a great opportunity for each partner to enjoy some “me-time” before reconnecting and, in a way, starting over with different experiences.
It definitely takes some special personality to accept and let go of one’s partner for a long time in an environment no one knows much about. Wanting to have an ubiquitous talent sometimes is purely wishful thinking. Look into the mirror and (re)define what your priorities are: as a person, as a partner and as a professional (not necessarily in this order). Being far away from the one(s) you love can be daunting, as much as it is for them. Ask yourselves, as partners, what you are ready to do to maintain and protect what you have built together so far, and if it is what you want as well. The answer might evolve over time, and that is when you need to be honest with yourself first.
There is no right or wrong answer. Like in events, accept to live with this: the only consistency is change. Adapting to it is a skill, a bit like a muscle requiring constant training. This does not make anyone less sensitive, as we are all human. Disappointment and surprises do happen, whether through a phone call at 03:00 or when you land upon your return: this is everything but fun. If I could suggest one angle, this would be to only take one thing at a time, so the shock between reality and a soaring imagination sticks to a minimum. And breathe through and enjoy every moment life offers you, here, or there, while it lasts.